Choosing to initiate divorce proceedings can come with several disadvantages of filing for divorce first that many do not fully anticipate. According to Gastelum Attorneys, one of the primary drawbacks is limited preparation time: rushing to file can lead to incomplete financial disclosures, overlooked assets, or a weak strategy. 

Another serious disadvantage is emotional and social fallout. When you file first, friends, family, or mutual acquaintances may perceive you as the instigator, sometimes causing reputational damage or pressure on relationships. It may also generate guilt or internal conflict as you navigate the role of “the one who left.” 

In custody and parenting matters, being labeled as the person who filed can be used against you in court. Courts tend to value cooperation, and your spouse’s legal team may argue that your “first-move” signals antagonism or unwillingness to compromise—potentially affecting your parenting time. 

Finally, the financial burden of initiating a divorce can be heavy. The filing party often bears initial court costs, attorney fees, and expert valuations. Should litigation drag on, the cumulative expenses can weaken your position and force concessions just to resolve the case. 

Before proceeding, it’s wise to assess your readiness—legally, emotionally, and financially—and consider consulting a qualified attorney to determine whether filing first is truly in your best interest.